Too Busy to stop the Madness

Busy, Busy, Busy. I am at the wire, trying to get my grades completed before the quarterly grades are due at the office. I have many students who did very little this grading cycle and hardly paid any attention to what we have done all year. They do not appreciate all the work I do for them. They are still lying, deceiving their parents, deceptively keeping total truth from their parents about their classroom performance.

I am disgusted by the behavior of the boys. One individual finally was nailed for what several of them had been doing. They were taking turns, dropping their pants below the buttocks, and bending over or showing their rears to the class, but mostly directed at me. I was appalled. This is sexual harassment, and I have no more cheeks to turn. I don't know how much more of this garbage I am expected to take. I do not want to see any of these students in my classroom again. They will get no high marks from me, nor recommendations to any organizations of honor, that require integrity. That is my only recourse. I am finished with them. Even the "so called good" students are not always good. They are mouthy, pushy, insistent, sassy, and also disrespectful.

I am strongly looking forward to Easter, and I only have Good Friday off. I am back to school on Easter Monday. The glorious summer cannot come soon enough! A bit more suffering of Lent to go through and my Lord beside me all the way. He is the only way I survive.

Miss You

I miss a parishioner who left our parish two years ago. He was, and still is an inspiration to me. He was a graduate of the only all boy's secondary Parochial school in our Diocese, and signed up for the war, and fought in Vietnam. He was lucky to return, but spent the next few years of his life, should I say? - thrill-seeking. He was numb from war, lived in Texas, a state he hated for the weather, and it was so far from home; married for looks, partied, swung, drugged, and had two boys. His wonderful mother helped him raise the boys, when he returned to PA, with an infant and a three year old, divorced from a wife who was sleeping with someone else.

He remained single, but not fulfilled for the next 20 years or so. I wish that I had met him, when I dreamed about "my" soldier in Vietnam, or when I was in college, and older. As a child, I sat up in my tree, and faced east, looking upon the higher hills of the next county. Amazing that this was toward his camp home, where he lives now. My Aunt and Uncle rented a place, he almost bought, in the nearby town. It was amazing how close our paths came to crossing, and how much I "loved" and wanted to see him, and didn't yet know who he was- nor had I known his name until many years later.

Funny how things work out, we both attended St. Anthony's. This saint is the finder of those things that are "lost." I wasn't lost, but he may have been. When we locked eyes, we were instantly drawn together, by some unseen force, for some unknown reason. I knew immediately, that I was not only attracted, but consumed. I wanted to know him, but being married myself, I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. It was impossible for me to not show how much I loved him, as a brother, and a friend. He was quickly married to a girl, young enough to be his own daughter, and this union turned out to be a total financial disaster, and a complete disaster in love. It broke my heart, because I knew that he sought to be married, and wanted to be married, but had always looked in all the wrong places for that love and marriage he deserved. He once joked that in comparison, he didn't come close to my 20 years of marriage, with his two - amounting to less than 5 years. I was saddened. I couldn't reach out and fix what he needed. I couldn't help what he longed for. We spent a few years getting to know one another, and growing in our faith.

Today, it has been quite some time, nearly 2 years since I have seen him at church. I always joked that he was my "Sunday" date. I was able to touch his hand, and lean toward him. I was so overjoyed to see him for a short time in February that I hugged him twice in the rain! The day was on his parent's anniversary, and I think that was another coincidence in our lives, and how we bump into one another, unannounced, and don't see one another for many years. I thought about him today, on this fourth Sunday of Lent.

I write him at Christmas, and he returns the favor. I send him a card to let him know how wonderful he is, and how much I think of him, and that I believe him to be special in a way I cannot explain.

A friend loves forever; He is my friend.

Retirement

Today, after Mass, I ran into a colleague who teaches in the same District. She mentioned that she is retiring. I answered her affirmative with "Bless your Heart." I asked if a party was going to happen, and told her I wanted to share that event with her. I look forward to it. As, I know from what was done to me in my building this past year, was also done to her. The principals arbitrarily in each of the three high schools moved teachers from the lower level middle grades - 7,8 and teachers specifically trained with that age level with a HS 9-10 teacher. No one has been entirely happy about this type of arbitrary, illogical, senseless action done for spite, or to protect an non-tenured teacher who can't handle the discipline or the teaching material, or even one that began with a PRAXIS certified individual who was never trained to be an English teacher, who bid into a HS classroom.

She was treated with disdain this school year from her principal, like me, changed two grade levels from 8th to 10th, while he waited for her to become disgruntled and quit. He made a comment which got back to her that he said. "I got what I wanted, she's retiring." She called herself his "thorn." I don't believe that to be the case - for this is a hard working, dedicated to English education teacher. Her experience with middle level students was critical, and she was pushed. What an absolutely unprofessional, callous, evil man. He not only is a drunkard, he has many other issues, including abuse, and no integrity. He has beaten his children, been called upon through the county youth services, and can't make a proper educational decision to save his skin. Unfortunately, he was trained under the principal who runs the building where I work.

There is no respite in moving to another building, and many of us bide our time until these idiots burn themselves out or retire. The beginning of the end happened when a zealot of a principal was hired in the 1990's, who went on to become a superintendent. That man went on to hire "followers" as principals, and created a regime that took a high-standing district in Western PA and turned it into a lawless, hateful place. I understand he was given a few months to live, as he is suffering from a stage 4 cancer. No one wishes him to suffer and die, but there does seem to be some justice in the end.

Here's to the need for justice for all those who have been wronged.

Enjoy the Classic Piano

My mother, who passed away August 28, 1988 was a gifted musician. I haven't heard her piano magic now for over two decades. I miss it. I have a baby grand (Melville-Clark) which largely sits silent in my living room, in her honor. I play, in her shadow, and with only a fraction of her talent. To my mini-conservatory, I'd like to add a harp, and a violin, a Strad, if I could get one that I could afford; as she was also formally trained with violin.

If I can't hear her play ever again, as her hands lay still and silent, I find solace in the classic piano widget. Thanks Blogger.com for such wonderful features, and those that help us all feel comfortable on the web.

End of the Grading Period

We just finished our testing - and I bought and served snacks to the group I had for nearly four hours in my room taking a standardized test - Terra Nova during their break. I brought trail mix, and Chex mix, along with chocolate snacks, life savers, and gum. Only one student "sort of" thanked "whoever brought in the food." and when I told her that I did, and you're welcome, I got an "Oh..." Many students threw the foil gum wrap and foil from the Hershey Kisses on the floor and threw away almonds and raisins, instead of sharing with someone who would have enjoyed them.

Well, add this to the dishonesty, the deception, the cheating, now the ungrateful.

It is the end of the grading period, and there is a student or two, asking me why - after a mid-report that clearly showed a "D" what was "I" going to do. This young lady spends her time - too much with a boyfriend who is not a good influence. She has NEVER asked to visit during a study hall, and makes frequent requests to leave the classroom.

Well, young lady, you got yourself into this predicament - and the ball is in your court!

Pennsylvania TESTING

It's that time of year, PSSA testing. I was formally observed, English teacher - responsible for the reading and writing, one who serves on the committee for reading and writing testing advisory for the district, on the Thursday before. My class went well, despite 6 students continuing to enter late. Students worked with a program called INSPIRATION, and enjoyed their class. So my prayers were answered. The day went well, and my planning paid off. I hope that one of these days, the principal will see something DISTINGUISHED in the teaching level and through his observation. It has yet to happen, from one of his finest, to be seen as anything but P to the Fourth. That would simply be Proficient in all categories, and Distinguished in none. At least I have not been found to be only Satisfactory or Unsatisfactory. Very disturbing when a teacher who works as hard as my collegues do, and are found in those two categories.

My students will be testing this next week, and here's to a week of proof that they are intelligent and care about their academic progress and academic performance!

Discipline in Secondary Schools

Wait! Before you touch that dial.....Unbelievable what a secondary teacher has to go through to get students to behave, respond to do their work, and to respect their teacher. These students have been so rude, dishonest, disrespectful, deceitful, downright evil, and I can only "turn the other cheek." Today, I dished out the punishment - a "reflection" for the student to complete for being off task, disregarding of classroom materials, distracting others, refusing to work, or insubordination. I have never in my career faced such defiance from students, and I don't enjoy them at all.

I feel for my best and finest students who are trying to do their best, but even they cannot come to my defense, and I have felt "bullied" all year, by this behavior.

Writing this out, and praying, have been my outlet. I am thankful every day for my Savior and Lord, who in his name, I work and pray for the guidance to handle everything the way that is truthful and righteous.

Many days, I know that I didn't even come close to doing anything on my own. I know it was Christ who held me through the night, and guided me through my day. Nothing else on this good earth could have worked.

Students Who Do Not Carry The Load

I have a few troublesome students who do not carry their load. They sit, refuse to work, antagonize others, disrupt, throw material, laugh, wait for my reaction, and in all waste the time allotted to them to read, complete classwork, or do well on assignments. All of the troublesome students are students who are failing. They are all fully capable of earning passing grades at average level, by properly participating, and being cooperative in the classroom.
Instead, several of them choose to pal around one another, and giggle about their antics for most of their class time. All and then receiving failing grades, which don't seem to phase any of them.

A strangeness of evil exists in all of this. Looks like a few of them are "enjoying" this year, they want to return to do it again....unless summer school is on their agenda?
For my sanity, I can't see these kids doing this again, but there looks to be a few who are digging holes that are unrecoverable. If they don't pass, I will have some of them in my classroom for the third year. That is too much to ask of a secondary English teacher, who wants to keep her sanity.

March Arrived

It is about time for PSSA, the State School Assessments. I can feel the year winding down. The home DSL is finally repaired, and I made it this week to talk about it. I didn't have a way to work at home on my school work, and this has kept me from staying on top of my work. A teacher cannot afford a hiatus, or a shut-down of equipment, or even home internet service, without it daunting a teacher workload. It is almost spring, and I'm feeling better from the bronchitis.

We set the clocks ahead this weekend. I hate losing that hour. I will need my summer before I feel adjusted.

My students have been fighting their reading, the historical novel, Killer Angels, by the late Michael Shaara. I helped them with undertanding Point of view, grand metaphor; sensory approach to reading, and set up a comprehension summary writing for the chapters to keep them on track. I walked them through so much, and have some students really trying. They will use Inspiration to show their learning, and I hope they enjoy their end product. It is wide-open, allowing them to choose their template, and create a product that shows what interested them about the novel.