I miss a parishioner who left our parish two years ago. He was, and still is an inspiration to me. He was a graduate of the only all boy's secondary Parochial school in our Diocese, and signed up for the war, and fought in Vietnam. He was lucky to return, but spent the next few years of his life, should I say? - thrill-seeking. He was numb from war, lived in Texas, a state he hated for the weather, and it was so far from home; married for looks, partied, swung, drugged, and had two boys. His wonderful mother helped him raise the boys, when he returned to PA, with an infant and a three year old, divorced from a wife who was sleeping with someone else.
He remained single, but not fulfilled for the next 20 years or so. I wish that I had met him, when I dreamed about "my" soldier in Vietnam, or when I was in college, and older. As a child, I sat up in my tree, and faced east, looking upon the higher hills of the next county. Amazing that this was toward his camp home, where he lives now. My Aunt and Uncle rented a place, he almost bought, in the nearby town. It was amazing how close our paths came to crossing, and how much I "loved" and wanted to see him, and didn't yet know who he was- nor had I known his name until many years later.
Funny how things work out, we both attended St. Anthony's. This saint is the finder of those things that are "lost." I wasn't lost, but he may have been. When we locked eyes, we were instantly drawn together, by some unseen force, for some unknown reason. I knew immediately, that I was not only attracted, but consumed. I wanted to know him, but being married myself, I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. It was impossible for me to not show how much I loved him, as a brother, and a friend. He was quickly married to a girl, young enough to be his own daughter, and this union turned out to be a total financial disaster, and a complete disaster in love. It broke my heart, because I knew that he sought to be married, and wanted to be married, but had always looked in all the wrong places for that love and marriage he deserved. He once joked that in comparison, he didn't come close to my 20 years of marriage, with his two - amounting to less than 5 years. I was saddened. I couldn't reach out and fix what he needed. I couldn't help what he longed for. We spent a few years getting to know one another, and growing in our faith.
Today, it has been quite some time, nearly 2 years since I have seen him at church. I always joked that he was my "Sunday" date. I was able to touch his hand, and lean toward him. I was so overjoyed to see him for a short time in February that I hugged him twice in the rain! The day was on his parent's anniversary, and I think that was another coincidence in our lives, and how we bump into one another, unannounced, and don't see one another for many years. I thought about him today, on this fourth Sunday of Lent.
I write him at Christmas, and he returns the favor. I send him a card to let him know how wonderful he is, and how much I think of him, and that I believe him to be special in a way I cannot explain.
A friend loves forever; He is my friend.
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